For the record: THIS SUCKS

I’m warning you now, this post is just one big whiny bitchy pitty party.

Read at your own risk.  

I having a bad day. I am rather depressed and just feeling really down. I just want to go to work and live like a normal person. But nope, not me. I was awake in the middle of the night again with horrible cramps and diarrhea. I got up this morning and didn’t feel well but really wanted to go to work and tuff it out there. So I got dressed and left for work even though the belly was rumbling and I was wicked nauseated. I didn’t even make it out of my apartment building before I had to turn around and run to the bathroom. That was my fault, I admit. I tried to ignore the golden rule: Always listen to your gut.

So I am sitting on my couch feeling like a horrible person. I just want to curl up into a ball and cry. But that would just make my face hurt more, and with this cold it hurts enough. I had to call out of work at the time I was supposed to be there because that was as soon as I could get to the phone. I am sure my boss just loves me right now. And of course, just my luck, it is annual review time. What perfect timing. And even though I don’t plan to stay at this job much longer at all, I want to leave on a good note so anyone that calls for a reference will get good information. At this rate I’ll never get another job. It hasn’t been a good month and I am looking very unreliable and that just SUCKS. I am a good hard worker, but I have this damn issue that keeps messing it up. And I was already out once this week because my Kid was sick so it’s even worse (but that is different story for a different blog). Just one thing after another after another after another.

I need to find a job that has normal hours, 8 to 5.  That will make things much better (the trick is to find it though!). I was never out this much at my last job. I had plenty of time to have a bad morning and then make it in on time for 8am (although I will admit there where some days that where close). And I wasn’t glued to my desk so it was ok if I had to be in the bathroom a lot on a particular day as long as I got the work done. But not at this job. All hell breaks loose if I leave for a minute. And I am often left alone in the office so I can’t really go to the bathroom when ever I need to. The other lady in the office is never out. All her kids are old enough to stay home on their own and she apparently has a super immune system and doesn’t get everything that seems to walk through the office door like I do. So it just makes it look even worse. The Hubby says we are just getting used to the New England germs but I don’t buy it. I just get sick too often. And yes, I take a daily vitamin. I’ve read (although I can’t remember where at the moment) that a lot of our immune system is in the digestive track. So I am screwed before I even get up in the morning. (Does anyone else get sick a lot or am I just strange??? )

So I am just a miserable mess today. Am I always going to be fighting this? Trying to make my body cooperate so I can be a productive, effective, reliable member of the work force? I am sure in 50 years, the fact that I was out today will not make or break anything, but it sure feels like a big deal right now.